woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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