Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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