She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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