Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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