i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
