That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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