and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
