I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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