It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
