he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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