Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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