i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
