The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
