Redeem this text for a blowjob
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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