Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
