I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
