Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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