she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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