Im at strip club and am horny
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
