Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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