Bisexual people are plain selfish.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
