Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
