so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
