There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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