I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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