I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
