Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I've blown a few things in my day
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
