It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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