i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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