He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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