one two three fourrrrnication!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
operation have a gay friend backfired
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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