Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
