He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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