Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
