I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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