i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
do herpes really smell.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
