I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
