we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
