Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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