I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
