I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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