How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
