spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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