Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize