my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
