um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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