You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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