paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
