I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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