so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Found your dick twin last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
