does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
