her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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