you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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