I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize