My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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