if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
