I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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