Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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