So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
