I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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