i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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