Soap is not a condiment
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
