Sponge bath it is.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
