I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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