i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't turn off my feet"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
