how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
