whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
