I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
