How'd it feel making her break her religion?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
